{ posted by Iammyown.emmcee | 06:20 PM }
One more for the road…
I’m not really going anywhere I just said that…
I’ve been holding on so hardly and biting my tongue on a predicament that’s been surrounding my life these days. Well one of them for that matter, since I sort of have a bunch of unshakable thoughts and feelings deeply contained inside of me. But nonetheless, though I know how to react without over exaggerating on it.
I’ve gone through so much that I don’t know what else to do now, but laugh so much that maybe, just maybe it’ll end suddenly. With everything and all that had happen in my life I know that no one is perfectly created with no caused of hardship and flaws that are mistakenly for inadequacies. Some people are so hard on themselves that they are enticed to do harm on others for they have nothing better going for themselves. Which to me is pretty pathetic, for anyone to do and be. But no words of mine can change anything for, supposedly that’s how she is in life. Yes, I'm talking about her, the individual who I can name but would not give her the satisfaction of name calling even if it's true. And the fact that no one can interchanged the acts of this person is beyond me…
I think we are capable of change in any way as long as its for our good. I know I have, caused I catch myself now when I talk badly about someone, regardless who they are in life. I’ve believe, trustfully in, “what you don’t want done to you, you shouldn’t do to others“. And that all that you do to harm and caused inconvenience to others will eventually come right back to you. So I’ve stop, what I used to be. I change for myself and for those who are major influences in my life. I don’t want to impair anyone no matter what they do to me, and with that I know that I am a being a better human being.
Call me religious if that’s what you see in me for, believing in the goodness of our Lord Jesus Christ. And his power to see all he sees and make adjustments to things that he does not approve of. He is my hope of having goodness in this world.
I think life’s to short for what it is already. And continuing hardships on one self is just shameful and unjust.
I so want to, God knows how much I want to counteract on this individual who continues to spread lies and what else unpleasantly mouthy things she says about me. I do have to power to speak the truth of all this but I still have a slight respect for this individual, regardless of all she has done to me. I guess for the sake of my husband and his family, I’m biting my tongue. But God forbid the day she speaks to me face to face and grant me the wish of telling her of what I think of her, for that day I would fall for it and speak without thinking. There’s so many things she has said and she continues on without regards of the truth that’s coming out of her mouth. She thinks horribly of someone she has no idea of who this person is. Then when you tell her the what she does’nt want to hear she causes more and takes in more people to be in… No regards and no self respect this individually for herself and others. I feel so sad for her. I hope she never feels or experienced what she has done to me. I don’t even wish this to my enemies to go through. It’s really uncanny to know someone like this. She is disgusting of a person, that’s why she’s only an individual to me, she’s not even a person in my eyes.
I don’t know if I can continue to bite my tongue on all of this. A person such as myself can have enough and is capable of falling into the nastiness of such demeaning attacks. And to add to the injure she is no more than my mom’s age. That’s another reason of not feeding into her stupidity and defects. I’d like to keep my whole being and my being a better person. I know she’s just jealous and for her age I think she should settle down and leave things she does not know of alone. For in the end her face will be posted as an worthy of a person to know. I understand there are people in the world who carelessly do things without thinking of the consequence in the long run, I used to be one of them, but I know better now and I’m better and happier of what I’ve become.
I'm keeping the promise I made to my husband to just let it be and just keep quiet. I am doing this and have been doing since I've heard of the first time. I will continue to keep my mouth quiet and I hope one day she'll stop, if not, it's ok, for no one can do anything to make her stop anyway. I'm keeping my promise and not emailing her eventhough she attacks me blindly. I care less for her, even if she's my husband's relative. I gave her all my respect but she doesn't care for that, so with all that in me I don't care for her either. I never met such cruel individual. The fact that you're not doing anything badly or anything remorsely bad to her and yet she talks horrendous things about you is just sadistic. She is a very vicious individual and yet she has no shame of going to church every Sunday and showing her evil doing to her kids. She is not fit to be followed by her kids and I pray to God her kids does not become like her. I pray that they become a better person that they're mom could ever be. I'm leaving things be. I'm writing this to let some nauseating thoughts out of my head. This is not for her to read but if she does, too bad for her. I'm keeping my mouth quiet and I hope she is to.
People are intitle to their own opinion and ways of dealing things. If you think what I wrote here is offensive then I apologized to you but keep in mind this is not for you. And people can get angry and amused of words but I am just a person who's disturb in a way that no one can understand unless they're gone through the same challenge. I apologized for the harm I've done, the said things that might come out insulting. I apologize for everything, but have anyone apologized to what is being put on me, without me causing anything to said individual??? I'm not expecting much, just an end to all this.
This would be my last of posting, blogging and saying about this and her. I don't want to continue wasting time on such unworthy cause. I don't want her in my mind, my words and my life. I hope she does the same thing.
I hope she has gotten the happiness she acquired with what she has done to me. I hope one day she sees her self in the mirror and realized what she has become. The monster that she is.
I’m forever thankful for my understanding and my respect for myself, my love ones and God himself, for if it wasn’t from them I too would be an Evil as her.
...
Personal message to her: "I wish you the best and nothing less. I hope God has the forgiveness you need to become a human being. I don't hate you but I despise you for what you done and continue to do to me. You are a pathetic, poor judging, worthless, and sad sad individual. You are too old for all this "Tita". You need to grow up and leave what you don't know alone. I might not have the same education as you have but my soul and everything in me is clean. I have morals and self respect that you shown none of. I could never be like you, I will never be like you and I hope God continues to give me the strenght to continue to forgive you. You are less a than monster for you are purely EVIL."
klk
Sobrang init lately... Nag-melt nga yon kandila ko sa banyo ehhh... That's heat, right there. Hahaha!!! Kala ko Fall na pero parang Summer pa rin. Ayoko ng maiinit, sana lumamig na...
kkk...
Ang bago kung addiksyon ngayon ay "HOUSE". Ang galing ni Doctor Gregory House, nakaka-intrigue panoodin.
Currently feeling apathetic
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